Shadows on Twenty-Seventh Street
Today, I was in the aisle of a bodega by work, and I saw at the register the shadow of a friend.
She looked as Jyl would look at 37 or 40. The long, curly, brown hair. The big, bright, wide smile. The questions to the cashier about his family and the picture behind the register. The laugh, the commiseration, the nod of the head. The utter humanity.
I froze. It was as if my friend, my ex-girlfriend, never left this planet. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to hug her. I just wanted 10 minutes of her time to pretend that we are still at summer camp, we are still in high school, we are still at a JFTY event, we are still having dinner at a B&B in Scranton, we are still in her parents living room watching a movie.
Jyl - I type her name and know I'm partly responsible. I dropped a 't' and, in concert, she changed 'i' to 'y' and blamed me with a laugh, a giggle, a smile. When she died, her name was Jill but everyone was so apologetic since we all knew what she had chosen. In my high school yearbook, she snuck in her photo so I would find it. It said, so you think of me with surprise sometimes.
Jyl connected with everyone. She had this way about her that was so effortless. This actually isn't the first time I've found myself in the presence of her shadow. I like it. I like that she moves with me. I love that she still surprises me.
posted by mat zucker @ 8:36 PM
3 Comments:
I love that.
Mat,
I, too, often think of Jyl. Her loud, raucus and joyous laugh. She is never really far from thought. Sometimes the most banal things will set off a memory that winds up with me laughing to no one but myself. She's a person whose whole existence was about making life better for others. I still don't really accept that she is gone. I expect to see her again in some weird way and like you, I'll occasionally do a double take. The world has been robbed of a truly special and good soul. She would have been a helluva Mom. As much as I and her wide world of friends miss her, I cannot fathom the empty space that her passing has brought for Brenda, Ira , Chuckie and Jeffery.
Although you and I haven't seen each other in many years. People like us will always have a connection thru shared experiences like Jyl's sweet 16, JFTY events and a common group of sprawling friendships that people like Jyl always seem to anchor.
I hope that Life has treated you well, Mat. I hope that you are happy, fufilled and content. If our paths are ever to cross, I would be honored to chat about life, love and reminisce about our lost friend with you over a cup of coffee.
-Paul Marks
wow, paul, thanks - please get in touch with me - don't have your contact info (mat@zucker.com)
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